I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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