wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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