I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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