I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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