can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Welp...herpes.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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