I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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