someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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