Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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