is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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