We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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