I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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