I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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