I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize