look no pants
false alarm. still invincible.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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