I am puke
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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