i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
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You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
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i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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