Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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