Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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