After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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