My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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