This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
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I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
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Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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