so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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