Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
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Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
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I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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