Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize