im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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