i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Enjoy the penises
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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