so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
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This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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