vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize