It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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