omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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