my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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