get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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