this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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