In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
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im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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