yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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