Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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