wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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