Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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