Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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