Just fell off a train. Bad.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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