I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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