So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize