She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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