I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize