You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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