Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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