My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
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Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
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In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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