I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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