I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize