i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
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If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
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Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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